In the modern era of 2021, it ain’t cheap to be alive; it’s cheaper to buy booze than a coffee, mortgages span a lifetime and the temptation to sell your cat for groceries is remarkably high. If living costs are so exorbitant should those of us in relationships default to cohabitating? Or should we make more measured decisions before jumping with both feet into combining living with loving?
Undeniably the argument that "if you are meant to be with someone then living with them at any stage of the game shouldn’t make or break the bond you have", is strong. In reality though there's a lot more granularity that comes with the decision. Things like money, personal hygiene, sleeping patterns and interior decorating taste matter. A lot. You’ve gotta seriously get it right otherwise you run the risk of going to gaol for manslaughter after you smother your loved one in their sleep for eating the rest of your pre-cut celery sticks without asking.
In most relationships there usually comes a time when the issue of living together unravels naturally. You’re spending 6 nights out of 7 tucked into one another’s beds, or your lease is up, or it seems like an intelligent financial decision (kitty has already been cashed in for groceries) to combine household goods. In some ways making the decision not co-habit seems odd, or slightly against the grain, but for some couples it’s the only way they can maintain their sanity, independence and ultimately preserve their relationship.
Each couple is unique in their approach to the issue of real estate; some wait for the ring before they share a set of keys, others start sharing an address only weeks into the relationship status is official.
There’s a long list of pros & cons to both scenarios, here’s just a few:
It’s always nice to go home to someone you love
Rent becomes slightly more affordable
Living together can help cement the bond of a relationship
You always have a pal to adventure with
Grocery shopping, furniture shopping and doing laundry can become an adventure rather than a chore
Easy access to spooning, and sex
You always have someone to tell you if an outfit looks good or not
If anything breaks there's joint responsibility to fix it
You have to share your space with someone all the time, in cities like Sydney where shoe box sized apartments dominate the real estate market this can be claustrophobic
Sharing a bathroom with the opposite sex is never really ideal
You can’t escape if you have a fight
Sharing wardrobe space isn’t actually a realistic logistical arrangement for a lot of women
Washing anything other than your own clothes makes you feel like a house wife
Domesticity can stifle romance
There are zero surprises in the relationship anymore, and you recognise damn quickly that uncertainty is the essence of romance
SSB is no longer secret (Secret Single Behaviour) everyone has things they do in private which they would never want their lover to experience; pick blackheads, wear grey trackies, grandma undies or fake tan their feet
No girl wants their lover to witness them doing the normal things they do to be beautiful; waxing, plucking, tanning, etc etc
Beautiful lingerie becomes redundant
When you’re naked in front of someone and they don’t even look up for their game of Pokémon Go it's not fantastic for your self esteem
Showers are often invaded by the foreign body of someone else (which on the flipside, can be really nice)
Sharing bedding with someone is difficult when you have very different body temperatures (and sizes)
Going to sleep and waking up with someone you love is always a pleasure.