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Pet or Partner?

I have to admit, I do a lot of what Hannibal would refer to as “psychic driving” within my writing. This means that I offer my audiences contextual opinion(s) from my own repertoire and then let you decide, via subtle suggestion, on which bits you agree with. But trust me, I work hard to paint the picture.

So, guess what… I’m going to offer you the chance to find your own answers, and therefore personal truth in this piece of writing. This weeks article isn’t a list (iloveyoulistsforever) or a verbose essay (words are still life). Nope, it’s a quiz, so guess who decides the outcome… YOU.

Said quiz has been designed to help you decide whether you’re partner is more of a pet than your equal counterpart in your adult relationship…

Here’s how it works: For each point you agree with record the numerical value. At the end of the quiz add up all your answers and see where you fit in the pet vs partner scale. If you need a definition of pet, this one will do.

Social activities

  1. You both suggest social activities to attend together, and/or separately – 1 POINT

  2. Invitations to events tend to be directed at you so you use your discretion as to whether you or not you are both privy to it, and/or attend it – 8 POINTS

  3. You socialise separately and neither party really appreciates the other’s friends – 3 POINTS

  4. You go to social activities instigated by your friendship group and your partner also attends. There are other partners at the event also – 6 POINTS

Domestic activities

  1. Divided equally, albeit often leans on whichever partner has a less stressful/busy week – 1 POINTS

  2. There’s minor petty behaviour around putting the bins out/not wanting to clean the mould out of the shower but nothing diabolical and you share pretty harmoniously – 1 POINT

  3. You do it all because he/she is always out, or at work – 4 POINTS

  4. He/she does it all because the amount of time spent at home is disproportionate to the time you spend at home – 5 POINTS

  5. You have a cleaner – 1 POINTS

  6. You pay her/him in sexual favours to do all domestic duties – 25 POINTS


  1. You have separate groups of friends and they don’t mix – 5 POINTS

  2. You spend time with his/her friends and vice versa pretty equally and genuinely enjoy yourself – 1 POINT

  3. You attend special events with one another but otherwise stay on your side of the friendship line – 3 POINTS

  4. You both prefer the company of each other, full stop – 12 POINTS

  5. You have a specifically cultivated a unique group of friends that accommodates you both, i.e. there’s equal male and female presence and everyone has a partner – 48 POINTS


  1. You both suffer from eternal bouts of wanderlust so you take turn picking destinations – 1 POINT

  2. You pick – 10 POINTS

  3. You have very different expectations of the ideal holiday so you pick – 14 POINTS

  4. You do some traveling alone/with separate friends and a few short trips together – 1 POINT

  5. You choose together, strategically according to budget and sensible things like annual leave and seasons – 1 POINT

Grocery shopping

  1. You do grocery shopping together, usually at some extremely early hour on the weekend – 1

  2. You take turns – 1

  3. You write a list and he/she goes to get it – 18

  4. You do it all. Your partner does not even know where the closet supermarket is – 10


  1. You always pick restaurants and bars because your partner hasn’t developed a culinary palette yet – 18 POINTS

  2. You take turns picking –  1 POINT

  3. You usually pick because you always know what’s opening and on trend – 2 POINT

  4. You pick according to his or her narrow taste –  10 POINTS

  5. You pick everything because your partner is so easy going he/she is practically horizontal – 12 POINTS

  6. You pick everything because your partner has zero idea about what tastes good – 14 POINTS

  7. You pick everything because your partner’s diet consists of 7-11 coffee and Devon sandwiches – 25 POINTS



Looks like you have a pretty *normal, equally balanced relationship complete with shared decisions, grocery lists and domesticity.


Okay, so you make a few more of the decisions because your partner is a little laid back, not as opinionated as you, or it’s just easier that way. Seems legit but make sure you’re not capping their life experiences by strongly suggesting what they do, when and who with.


You have a pet, not a partner. 

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