We all know what punching above your weight means in the context of contemporary dating landscape; that the person you’re dating is far more attractive than you. There’s arguably redeeming loopholes that are said to level out the playing field, but for ease of definition we’ll base this article on the aesthetic allures of one’s character (aka their looks.)
6 out of 10 men readily (and probably happily) admit that they’re punching above their weight in their relationship pairing. Commonly the men of these pairings revealed that having a more attractive partner is positive because it helps boost self esteem and makes other men envious. 58% of men also claimed that they are confident in their ability to attract a more beautiful woman. (Daily Mail UK)
Just because these statistics indicate that it’s the (average) men seducing the ladies of the world with their quiet confidence, it doesn’t mean that the punching phenomenon can’t work in the reverse. There’s plenty of women who are notorious for bagging beautiful boys.
More interestingly perhaps is the concept of punching below your weight, on purpose. If the information is transferrable and at least a little relative can we surmise that some women subconsciously, albeit strategically date men who are far less ‘worthy’ so that their own insecurities remain in check?
In a lot of cases, men work differently to women and often competition, or a challenge is seen as a key motivator. As a result, when prickling insecurities surface they can more seamlessly bury them and summarise that their trophy is the sum of all of their efforts, ie. they’re deserving of their hot girlfriend. To the girlfriend's dismay there’s no pedestal or rose petal paths being laid down, instead there’s an average guy growing equally as complacent as the hot one at the gym you were too scared to date.
Humans are creatures that experience jealously, particularly on the back of surfacing insecurities or doubt and men aren't excused from this. Coupled with the realisation that one is punching (above their weight) this can result in fear, rather than gratitude. When fear drives emotions all bets are off and no relationship is safe.
Women generally have a broader awareness of the various facets that culminate in genuine attraction, so if they’ve chosen you and shown that actually they really love you (despite physical disparity) then it’s likely they want to be with you.
This can become nasty when a man choses to manipulate the emotions of his partner because he’s overwhelmed by not being good enough for her.
The multimillion dollar question:
Why do gorgeous, smart women choose to pursue holistically average only men?
they don’t feel ‘good enough to bag a hot guy’
they assume that a hot guy is more likely to treat them poorly so they opt for a safe bet of an ‘average’ one
they assume an average looking guy will never leave them, cheat on them or grow complacent
the average guy boosts their ego (notice it’s the opposite for a male)
it’ better than being alone
they have classic ‘pick a project’ syndrome and are drawn to men who need ‘fixing’
they’re more trusting and therefore are easily manipulated
they always see the best in people (great quality) but don’t know what a character flaw might look like or lead to
they’re not practiced in spotting red flags, or, they want to be love so much that they’re happy to overlook said tail of red flags flags
Before you choose the ‘safe’ route and punch below your weight try to work out why and if it is really the safest dating path to take…