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How to seduce before you undress
Let me set the scene: you’ve met someone who actually makes your heart tingle and are feeling anxious AF about if you'll be able to impress them once you finally undress. You're in that blissful haze of lust that unfurls in your chest like a slow burning lamp. It might be a few dates in, or one hundred dates in but the sexual tension is palpable, as is your growing awareness of the fact that you’re about to get naked and tangled up in the sheets with your new found love.
Perhaps by this stage (love struck), presentation isn't crucial, and whether you're wearing La Perla or a sheet of metal it's going to get discarded in the haste to ravage each other. However, we’re still inclined to think that aesthetics do sway destiny when there’s sexual chemistry (and a potential relationship) at stake so here's my top tips maintaining your cool, even when very very naked.
Aim for Nonchalance at all times
Aim for Nonchalance, always, in all ways.
When it’s epitomised as a style, nonchalance comes down to looking effortlessly gorgeous. It’s about exuding enough raw beauty and genuine grace that only needs to be accentuated with a touch of sparkle. Your aim should always to be yourself, but a polished version of your already magnificent self.
Never make the mistake of not making any effort, even if you KNOW watching DVD’s is a euphemism for getting horizontally intertwined on a fur rug on the floor. Even if you’re going to someone’s house to have a home cooked meal, make effort. If you make none, you can’t expect any to be made for you in return. Our senses gather psychological data to provide a foundation for perception. This means that you have the opportunity to engage and seduce on 5 unique levels. Read that again, opportunity.
There are five senses: sight, sound, touch, taste and smell and the more you cleverly manipulate them the more memorable you become. Use them.
Scent is a gateway to opening the senses and tantalising sexually. Olfactory is oft forgotten, particularly when sex is such a visually, carnal experience. Scent is a sweet shortcut to seduction. Think about the way delicious food makes your stomach twist in delight and imagine the sexual equivalent with perfume, candles and massage oil. If you need more insight about scent read here.
Sight – Looking good enough to eat is an obvious precursor to the initiation of any foreplay, and we are visually insatiable beasts after all. Lots of (women) worry about their lingerie choices when they first sleep with someone new, all I can say is: Less is More. That doesn’t mean no effort, it just means keep it simple. Does it have to match? Nope? Does it have to be silky and elaborate? No! Something that makes you feel (tactile) and feel (confidence) incredible is a far better option that a garter belt, stockings and frills. My favourite: Simple lace. Black is never a bad choice.
Touch – Moisturise! (I'm directing this at both men and women by the way). Nothing feels as good as beautiful, silky skin under your fingertips. Sure, an array of textures (leather, lace, satin, silk or cashmere) can be gorgeous too but skin is endless and always honest. Look after it.
Taste – It goes without saying, personal hygiene isn’t just for chumps. Anything lickable should be delectable, or at least minty fresh and smelling pretty.
Hearing – To up the ante in seduction turn down the volume of anything abrasive or intrusive and be comfortable in silence, it heightens other sensations and allows you to listen to someone else's needs and desires. Of course music is also a weapon of mass seduction; just make sure your After Hours Playlist is sultry, soothing or sumptuous.
To really mix things up you can purposely detract the reliance on one sense to heighten the others….Pick one and subtract it from the mix. Doing so will immediately heighten the dependence on other senses.
Yours in all 5 senses.