Sexual compatibility is an important facet of understanding your overall compatibility within a connection, yet outside of sex drive, efforts to bring definition to it are elusive. Here’s where the erotic blueprint can help.
Originally conceptualised by somatic sexologist, Jaiya, The Erotic Blueprint helps you to understand your sexual style; turn on’s/offs, types of pleasure you enjoy and how you reach orgasm. I find The Erotic Blueprints easiest to unpack in relation to the 5 Love Languages (more on these later, or you can read Gary Chapman’s book). If Love Languages teach us how to comprehend how we best give and receive love then the Erotic Blueprint helps identify your sex language.
Defining your Erotic Blueprint will not only give you more insight into your own sexuality but will help you on the path to understanding the sexual compatibility you have with a partner. Sexual compatibility has a significant presence in the overall state of compatibility in a relationship and should be taken into consideration along with other the fundamentals of a connection.
The outcome is (hopefully) more enjoyable sex.
There’s five Erotic Blueprints:
Energetic: Feel more with less touch. Gaze, space and ambience are important and there’s a deep preference for connection and intimacy. The energetic tend to need emotional connection to be aroused and can experience full body orgasms. They are usually highly intuitive to their partners wants and can sense what feels good for others through their bodies ie. they’ll know when a partner is about to reach orgasm.
Sensual: Intimacy is an overall experience that encompasses the five senses. Atmosphere is often important to the sensual and they naturally engage music, textures, scent, touch and time to help shift focus from the brain and the body. Essential for the sensual is tension and build up. They’ll never get bored of being teased, touched, stroked and kissed and often this is a gateway to their arousal but it’s an absolute non-negotiable before penetrative sex.
Sexual: Straight up sex at any opportunity. The sexual is turned on by all aspects of sex, nudity, bodies, sex toys with little need for any other type of (emotional or mental) stimulation. They tend to be easy to please and can have sex frequently.
Kinky: The kinky are turned on by anything taboo, explorative, forbidden or playful but this can be wrapped up in deep shame around their needs and wants. They often like to experiment with power dynamics, fantasy and anything out of their comfort zone and may be turned on by pushing a partner to engage in something new.
Shapeshifter: Have the ability to cater to their lovers and are completely open to adventure and exploration. They crave variety and new experiences. Their talent is that they can encompass all of the blueprints at different times. However, this can mean that their own needs are neglected as they shift to appease their lover.
Still can’t work out which Blueprint you are? Take the online quiz here.
Trust me, DO IT.
When you are considering a new relationship it with help you further unravel your sexuality and ascertain your needs and wants, the ultimate outcome being more enjoyable sex.