When you’re navigating the dating landscape and regularly meeting new suitors (hah) via the obligatory tete-a-tete of the introductory date it can be hard to ascertain what your match might be like in an every day scenario; when he’s not wearing the first-date mask. What is he really like when he’s not minding his p’s &q’s, keeping his mouth closed while chewing or refraining from openly discussing the ultimate sized box gap? Brene Browne defines this as our ‘Kitchen Table Self’; the most raw, unedited version of ourselves that only we come face to face with in our very private moments. Said moments range from how calm you are in a crisis, what you look like when you eat breakfast, sweat profusely, get sick, or have Avocado stains on your shirt.
Counterintuitively the expectations of dating seem to set us up for failure. It’s an endless façade of putting your best self on show so someone else is impressed, hopefully commits to you and settles in for the ride back down to reality and the tea stained pyjamas. Go figure.
Here are the two most important suits to consider when trying to ascertain what your future reality may look like.
The Tracksuit What’s more comfortable and cosy than the classic tracksuit? Other than your birthday suit, probably nothing. The Tracksuit loosely refers to our own personal version of ‘Suit of Leisure’. It’s what a man is most comfortable in; no underwear, unshaven, oversized basketball shorts or trackies and a ‘sloppy joe’. This is the equivalent of seeing a girl with no make up on, it’s what you would wander down the street to buy milk in. La femme: No make up. La homme: Track suit. This defies an important assumption that many of us make: that men do not need to put effort into their appearance (whether they’re genetically blessed or not). Witnessing the tracksuit will smash that perception to pieces. Men do plenty of things to maximise their attractiveness. Some are even vain. I know so many men who moisturise (with products from Aesop), who do home DIY exfoliation masks, trim, squeeze and pluck themselves raw. They perform ritualistic routines, not dissimilar to women, to impress women. So, when you see a man in his track suit; dishevelled and apathetic about it and you find them sexy, take note. If your pants are still tingling despite his nonchalance towards his own pants you can be assured that not only are you attracted to him, you probably have genuine feelings for him too.
In my opinion there’s something deeply sexy about a dirty man, that is, a man that comes home from work filthy and sweaty from sheer hard work. It might be pheromones mixed with the smell of grease and hard labour but to me it’s the cognitive shortcut to masculinity and strength. Not every woman likes a dirty boy though. Some prefer the clean-cut charm of a man impeccably dressed in a suit. Depending on the woman you are the sex factor shifts from dirty suit to suave suit.
The suit Suit All men look sharp in a suit. In fact it’s one of those unexplained disparities in life. A man, regardless of his level of attractiveness can don a suit and look pretty damn fine. A woman, can do the equivalent; put on a cocktail dress and look like a horse. Or old, or fat or like a tart. It's one of life’s true injustices.
Keeping this in mind it’s fairly easy to be impressed by a man in a suit, particularly, if said suit brings with it an element of surprise i.e. the man whose back it is covering rarely wears one.
What’s important is a man’s general attitude towards wearing a suit. Does he let the suit wear him? Does he borrow an ill-fitting hand me down from his uncle? Is he excited about looking polished? Witnessing this will uncover his attitude towards making effort and willingness to embrace an occasion. You can wear a suit everyday because it’s your uniform and wear it badly, or, you can wear a suit once a year and look sharp despite not being used to it.
Obviously there’s some skewed advantages here. Let’s say your love is a builder. Naturally he’ll look pretty hot in his work clothes. The filthier the better, and that’s because his passion becomes him. The ultimate test comes when your builder swaps his hi vis for a tailored suit. And vice versa, get your lawyer into a pair of muddy overalls.
Oh. And finally, never women’s dismiss a woman’s complimentary commentary of a suit. If she likes your suit, she likes your suit.