The jury is in: women are the most divine creatures to ever roam the earth. At times though understanding the female kind feels more like dissecting a walking Haiku, every single day.
Fortunately I've written a detailed list of the phrases you should avoid when communicating with women. This list could be the truest words I've ever shared:
“I’m not sure, what do you want to do?”
“I don’t mind, what do you want to eat?”
“Is your period due soon? You’re a little sensitive”
“I’m just leaving work/home/friends place now” (3 hours late)
“I didn’t see your text”
“Have you brushed your teeth today?”
“What’s wrong with strippers?”
“I’m not looking at anything…”
“I just used a little bit of your (really expensive) cleanser”
“Oh no, I didn’t keep the receipt”
“I love that shirt, my ex bought it for me”
“Oh yeah, she’s a babe”
“Do you ever see (insert elite athlete/instagram model’s name here) at the gym when you’re there?”
“Can we have a threesome with….”
“Do you want to watch Blade Runner?”
“You look fine”
“We’re just friends”
“I don’t have any money until pay day”
“I have never seen her before in my life”
“It’s not better, it’s not worse – it’s just different” (referring to body part you’re asking about)
“It’s a boys night so you can’t come”
“What are you talking about?”
“Not this again….”
“She was amazing in bed but so dumb”
You've been warned.
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