Slut Shaming: Don't do it.



I got slut shamed on the weekend, and I'm not here for it.

I just returned from an absolute whirlwind trip to Melbourne which was filled with exciting chaos, a cheeky date and a lot of dancing and socialising. I always love traveling for the serendipitous opportunities that it throws at me and this trip was no exception.

However, I’m disappointed to report that I was on the end of very judgemental slut-shaming experience.

Here’s what happened:

I went on the above cute date, which went seamlessly. We’re talking opening car doors, great conversation, a spontaneous adventure to a Melbourne bar and a very comfortable sleep over. Not being used to sleeping next to others and having a relentlessly sharp body clock, I woke up at 6.30am and couldn’t get back to sleep so decided to make a quiet escape.

If you know anything about me, I’m terrible with doors. Foreign doors rattle me and I get nervous trying to get in or out of a door I’m not well acquainted with (if you thought I was normal, the jig is now officially up). I knew how to get out of the apartment, having come in through the main entrance the night before but when I got to the gate I couldn’t get out. I was essentially locked into the apartment complex, yet also locked out of the apartment block. An absolute nightmare for someone in my very anxious state. I’m not adverse to climbing a fence but naturally the complex was wrapped in some very pointy looking steel poles that I absolutely would not have been able to get over without losing some blood.

To my relief I spotted a woman walking past the apartment block and asked her how to get out. Her response: “You need a key to get out. It’s annoying. I’ve climbed the fence a few times but not in that outfit”, before she gave me a judgemental once over and trotted off.

I lacked the energy to be able to respond with anything less than a very nervous laugh, but I was suitably embarrassed. I don’t know if she is rigidly stuck in the 1960’s or if my expectations of human kindness are too high, but in 2022 I wouldn’t expect to be judged verbally for my appearance, or my actions (that she had all but assumed she knew). Regardless of what I had been doing, I wasn’t attempting a break and enter or acting with any nefarious intent.

Newsflash: It’s 2022. We are sexually liberated human beings with the ability to make decisions and deal with the consequences. There is no reason to judge others for their actions when they have absolutely nothing to do with you. Be kind to one another. One day you might be stuck in a pointy fenced apartment block, toilet cubicle, airport or taxi and you won’t welcome the judgment either.


Post script: Later in 2022 I went to Bali and behaved as I usually do when I'm travelling; equal amounts of chaos and sitting in bed writing ordering various iced beverages to my door. Naturally I collected various stories, which always aid my creativity and writing and as a consequence I posted a (slightly obnoxious) "packing list for Bali" on Instagram. The list includes Tampons and Condoms. Tampons in Bali are $16, which is nonsensical given it's 40 cents for a beer and $6 to be driven 45 mins. Condoms are difficult to procure and only in, ummm, one size. From experience both things are essentials. Nested cosily in my DM's though was my own post with the question, "Curious as to how many guys you have tee'd up with the number of condoms you're chewing through?" Respectfully, it's nobody's business. I'm a single woman who can do as she pleases, including indulging in safe sex and, I've been carrying condoms with me since I was 17. I was appalled to be on the end of such shallow judgement. Don't be a fuckwit. Don't slut shame anyone.


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