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Truths men should (already) know

(About being in a relationship)

By saying ‘should know’ it may seem that I’m referring to facts that are strictly unknown or undiscovered. This could be untrue and the ignorance not based strictly on innocence.  In itself this is a dubious link between what we know and what we choose to acknowledge. This article could be the grand eye opener for many and a subtle reminder of truths already known (but purposely obstructed) to others.

It’s apparent that most of the time men and women speak a different language. Therefore communication and correctly addressing needs can get tricky. In pivotal times of frustration I’ve wondered if the futility of trying to function seamlessly with a man is too high and I should just give up. When you really take a moment to consider it though we’re reminded that women love men; wildly, abundantly and passionately, and men, well, whether they like it or not they can’t live without us.

If I could get a messenger pigeon to discreetly drop these slices of truth into the hands and heads of well meaning (but none the less confused) men then I think life would be smoother. There would be far fewer fights, break ups and seething, passive aggressive women around.

BEHOLD, the things men should (already) know about being in a relationship, but often choose to ignore:

  1. Being in a relationship ALWAYS requires effort, in fact when you least feel like putting in effort, you usually should be making MORE of an effort (because mark my words, it’s critical).

  2. You’re not clean, and or tidy.

  3. Having a girlfriend does not mean that you automatically have a built in cleaner, cook, maid or taxi driver.

  4. Yes, we are keeping score. Somewhere in her invisible notepad of sins, she is taking notes of all the bad things you do, and all the great things she does just in case she needs to remind you of anything at a poignant moment.

  5. 99% of the time, fine is an adjective used to describe a level of fury about to come your way.

  6. A calendar is a very useful and highly recommended tool. If you’re prone to forgetting dates then set alarms, reminders, notes, tell your PA, mates, dog. DO NOT FORGET IMPORTANT DATES.

  7. If you’re checking out another girl either don’t get caught or do not deny it. Punishment is calculated accordingly. Better than anything, save the oogling for when you’re with your friends and make sure that your lady never finds out, because it really does hurt our precious little egos. And, you’ll probably NEVER hear the end of it.

  8. You should always pay attention, but if you’re not trying to sneak a peek when your lady is naked then times are tough.

  9. Just like fiddy cent says, “You are the man”, which you often remind us of when you’re drinking beer, being grubby, at the pub or sending pictures of girls in bikinis to your mates and that’s as far as your excuse needs to go to get you off the invisible hook you’re so tenderly hanging on. Don’t forget, though that being a man has several other implied insinuations including chivalry, strength, and romance. Traditionally men set dates, booked restaurants, romanced and courted women. So, you’re the man. Be one.

  10. We will never understand Playstation, it’s as simple as that. Do not make us try.

  11. We get really anxious about small, petty dumb stuff but a lot of the time we can’t help it. Please handle with care.

  12. We are usually right. At least 95% of the time.

  13. “Netflix and chill” is NOT A DATE.

  14. Romantic gestures for president. Suck it up and buy some flowers! It’s easier to buy flowers, a candle or a block of chocolate once a month than risk the grief that comes from a woman who wants more romance.

  15. Yes, you do need to go out sometimes. You cannot wear grey holey pyjamas, sit on the couch and order pizza for the rest of your life.

  16. Preparation and planning IS EVERYTHING.

  17. Yes we dated people before you, other men think we’re attractive and you are not the only person in the world.

  18. There has never been a saying more true than “can’t live with her, can’t live without her”. It goes without saying that your partner will annoy the shit out of you from time to time but despite it all you love her, and life wouldn’t be the same without her.

Go forth a be knightly.


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