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How to: Get (back) In Touch With Your Sexuality

Sexuality, like any other part of a living being is fluid; it’s transient, ever evolving and naturally grows and fades. Ecstasy to uncover, a struggle to maintain, sexuality is a humanistic oxymoron defined by both its elusiveness and pleasure bearing. Just as every other part of our lives sexuality requires attention, nurturing, exploration and commitment.

Here’s some hot tips for keeping your sexuality streamlined:

  1. Exercise frequently and fervently. Increasing your stamina increases, well, your stamina. It also causes the release of endorphins, stimulates serotonin production and generally makes you sexier (on the inside, and out).

  2. Lingerie should be worn the way make up is, to accentuate your good points and make you feel both more confident and beautiful in your own skin. If in doubt, remember: Less is More.

  3. Take note of where and when you feel most in your sexual element. Calmly. By this I mean, when you are alone, when do you have the biggest capacity to be sexual? That is, without the erratic tension and sensation that is built by being around the opposite sex. Revert to that state as often as possible  and keep it as sacred as possible.

  4. Experiment… because if you can’t pleasure YOURSELF then how can you know how its done to ask someone else to do it.

  5. Eat cheese before bed. It may be unproven that eating cheese before bed heightens the likelihood of sex dreams, and if it is just a wives tale,  is it ever bad to have Brie in bed?

  6. Listen to your body. If you don’t feel like sex because all you’re currently experiencing is a haze of depression or stress then know that you need to get to the root of the problem (haha) and address your head before you worry about un-knotting your knickers.

  7. Eat and drink well. After all, sex is a performance art and you need to fuel your body appropriately.

  8. Touch. Your partner and/or yourself more often. Touch and affection (even in the most innocent way) positively encourages the creation of oxytocin. As the chemical nicknamed the “Love Drug” you want it in maximum doses. Touch is the quickest cognitive link to increasing intimacy and encouraging sensuality.

  9. Find what you love and do lots of it, it will remind you of what passion feels like.

  10. Stretch – yes flexibility is handy.

  11. Invest in the best. Do you spend money on shoes? Linen? Your car? I think you can spare a few dollars for one of the most treasured parts of your body then hey? Spend money (without guilt) on anything that makes you feel good in between the sheets. Hint: Lelo

  12. Last but not least, my favourite piece of advice (and it’s my favourite because it came from the mouth of a real life psychologist)…  Fuck then Talk. Sometimes, particularly between the sexes verbal communication gets so twisted in its execution. Let your bodies get twisted in the beauty of expressing your love physically before getting verbose.

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